It lets me be vulnerable, without being vulnerable. 

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Wine-Stained. 

  
Hidden in a random pile of sweaters. I see a pair of jeans that look my size. I’ll try him on for fun. Besides, I could use a pair of jeans. 
He fit me so well!

So well that my curves are curvier, my legs are leaner, my butt is so round and plump. 
I feel beautiful, sexy and smart.  He needs my body to come alive! 

Of course, I’m buying him. 

He hangs in the front of my closet. I wear him all the time. Grocery shopping, out with the girls, with a blazer to work. I even thought about wearing him to a wedding once. He’s easily my favorite pair of jeans.

He fits me so well!

Now there’s a small, red wine stain on the left thigh– from that crazy night at dinner. One of the belt loops are broken. The blue is faded. They’ve stretched out a bit. Just adds a little character right?

They don’t make me feel beautiful, sexy or smart. But I’m not getting rid of them.  

They used to fit me so well. 

I remember those nights at dinner with the girls, I remember strutting down the cereal aisle, I remember dress down Friday’s in the office. 

Ahh they used to fit me so well. 

Now they are in the back of my closet. Utilizing a hanger. Taking up space. Hanging there as a memory. I haven’t worn them in years. 

Why do I still have them? He doesn’t fit me anymore. 

No love lost. So many memories. But it’s time to make some room. 

I loved you and have to let you go.  

~ MissMoxey

The motions. 

You’re only here for but so long. 

Feels like time is moving 2x as fast as the sun comes up and the moon goes down. 

We waste our days. 

Hoping;

Waiting;

Still;

What are you hoping for? What are you waiting for? Why are you still? 

Feels like time is moving 2x as fast as the sun comes up and the moon goes down. 

We waste our days.

Expecting;

Promising;

Chasing. 

What are you expecting? What are you promising? What are you chasing?

There’s so much frustration and anxiety because of all of this.  It physically hurts. 

I just want to go, do, and be. 

~MissMoxey

The Day After..

He said:

“If there is a god how could he be some cruel to me. Why give me something so right an take it ? Why bring light to my dark world to only turn it off ??? Sad part is no one has answers. They just say God knows. If he knew how could he hurt someone like this. Pain like this is what can drive people to hurt other people or themselves. What’s the plan in that ??? But I guess the answer is only he knows right. I have to find away to hide my pain so others don’t have to worry about me. I have to carry this forever. I know have to learn to look for her within the universe. I have to find her wavelength in the wind. Her warmth her touch an her love. This is torture at its finest. But I guess all anyone can say is be strong time heels all. They say that because that’s all they know. That’s what they have been thought to say an they never had to deal with a pain like this. ”

-bcg

The heaviness of a heart 

The Day Before.. 

He said:

” I’m broken. I placed her death on me. Because that’s the only thing that makes sense. I have to take pills to go to sleep now. I’m eating once a day. My gummy bear is gone. I’ll never see her again. I’ll never take that drive up to her to bring her to get steak, salmon an a side of lobster with a dirty martini. She was everything to me. An now I have nothing. I have to go stand near people that never know how good I was to her. That will never know there was a man that loved her unconditionally. An did anything an everything to keep her happy. I’ll never be whole again. I’ll never find another unicorn. I thought we where going to grow old together. I’m broken. An nothing anyone says makes me feel any better or has me thinking I can be fixed. They say time heels. Well what if it doesn’t ?”

-bcg

So beautifully sad. 

The oBEASTity within..

emotion beast

Fighting a beast that lives within-

A beast that whispers defeat-

A beast that’s designed to weigh you down-

A beast that grows with intention-

She’s always there reminding you how strong she is-

She fuels her strength through emotions-

She sharpens her fangs and fixes her hair when she’s stepping out-

She’s ready to pounce on the opportunity to destroy-

She hides. She crawls. She laughs. She smirks.

You realize she is your weakness and your strength.

You realize the beast is what drives you.

You realize she is strong, but you are stronger.

You realize the beast isn’t a beast at all.

She’s love. She’s protection. She’s awareness. She’s consuming.

Embrace her power. Embrace your power.

~Miss Moxey